Some of you ask me about my reversion to Islam , so I am sitting down and writing my story..with the new year here..now is a good time to share what changed my life. I say Islam chose me because it came to me. As you read my story you will see why I say this.
I was born and raised in North Carolina. Not from a rich family or prestigious family…just a normal everyday dysfunctional family. Through my years in my life I have searched for my place with God..never really knowing where I fit. I have been Christian for the most part..then there were the years of Paganism….13 years I was a practicing wiccan. I won’t bore you with all details of my life but rather I will get to the point.
As many of you know…the economy here in the US is not great so finding work is hard. Back in 2007 I had my first stroke. Yes, I am diabetic and really didn’t take care of my health..so in 2007 I got my first wake up call…sad I didn’t listen to it. I was working at that time and studying in school..Needless to say due to the stroke I lost my job, most of my memory and my life changed. Still I didn’t think about “God”. I just moved on with my life…restoring my reading and writing skills and struggling in school. I did find another job and just went on with my daily life. This job was not a great job so I wasn’t happy there. I had a good friend who lived in Tennessee and he said come on up here and get a job, there are lots of jobs here. So, I went. Moved in with him and his husband..yes I said husband. Still practicing my wicca and believing, for me, that I was on the right path. I don’t speak bad of anyone’s religious path but this was not the way for me.
Well, I continued my life, partying, raising hell, drinking and drugs. Yes, I said drinking and drugs. I had a great job, nice car, good friends (so I thought) a nice place to live…money in my pocket. Of course you know when you are “riding high” something, sooner or later, will bring you down. My time was coming but I didn’t see it. Well, things started falling apart. Due to reasons I won’t mention I had a huge fight with my mom and dad and cut ALL contact with them. Stupid me huh? As time passed my friends showed their true faces, as we all know sometimes this happens. I was kicked out of my friend’s house to be on my own. Nice friend huh? Soooo, I’m in Tennessee with no one, no family and knew very few people there. Tennessee is about 9 hours away from my home state of North Carolina..when you are alone..that seems like a billion miles. Spent a few nights sleeping very little in my car..but was still working. I took what money I had saved and moved into a motel. It was not a good time for me. Realizing for the first time in my life, that I was totally alone……so I thought.
I wasn’t sleeping or eating and my diabetes was taking a toll on me but I didn’t care. I had lost everything so why keep living. Those were dark days for me. One night, I remembered that I had a Quran. I bought it months before this time because I was going to read about Islam and see what this religion was all about. I had looked in many places so I thought, I’ll see what this is too. It was on a Friday night and there were no parties to go to so why not…read the Quran. I don’t know why something said to me…..read….read…..read…but for once I listened. I started reading and reading and reading…next thing I knew it was Saturday afternoon. I went to sleep with the Quran in my hand. That was the best sleep ever for me. Well, as you know, Saturday night was approaching so surely there was a party somewhere…and I was gonna be the first one there. But this time, it was different. I felt out of place and wasn’t having a good time. So I went back to my room. There is was, the Quran saying…..hello…remember me?????? Again I began to read. Woke up again Sunday morning with the Quran in my hand. I said, man, there is something to this Islam thing. For the next few weeks I moved, got myself together BUT put that Quran away. Bad idea.
One day at work…here we go..I knew what was happening to me….another stroke. Was rushed to the hospital…but remember…I was alone. So I’m laying there..with IV’s everywhere, surrounded by people I didn’t know and thinking to myself……WAKE UP!!!!!!!!! I spent 2 days in the hospital…..alone. I didn’t remember much about the time right after the stroke..BUT I COULD recall all the things I had read in the Quran. I thought, why can I remember this and nothing else???????? Islam was choosing me. ALLAH was calling. When I was released from the hospital…I went back to my place and looked for my Quran right away. I began to read…funny after a stroke many times you lose the ability to read…but this…I could read very well and very clear. I picked up the Quran and I said, ok God, if this is for me, I will read whatever page I turn to and listen to you. I randomly opened the Quran and the first verse I read was about mothers. I started to cry…I picked up the phone and I called mom. Months and months had passed since we had spoken. She picked up the phone and said, are you ok, I felt like something was wrong. All I could do was cry and say yea..mama there has been a lot wrong. This is when I realized, as the Quran says, heaven is indeed at the feet of the mother. She still loved me even though I had not been good to her. She told me that she too had been sick and needed me. I needed mama too. I went back to work and told them…I need to leave. I worked my notice of 2 weeks at my work then started packing to come home. I needed to heal my relationship with my mama. I needed to get back on track and I needed to listen this time to God. I packed what I could in my car and started my 9 hour drive home. This time, things were different. On the passenger seat of my car was a box and on top of that box was my Quran..this time..it was by my side…Not packed away to be forgotten this time but right In my sight.
I got home, got settled, helped my mom and ALHAMDULILLAH…I am a MUSLIM! I still remember the first time I got on my knees and prayed…..all of this..was my miracle from ALLAH (swt) and I have never looked back since.
See, Islam chose me, just this time…I accepted :)
